


Say Something

by onlywearscardigans



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Scott, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Derek Does Yoga, Derek Takes Care Of Stiles, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD Stiles, Panic Attacks, Post Nogitsune, Post Traumatic Stress, Self Destructive Derek, Sleep Deprivation, angst like woah, but it kind of morphed into something else, i think the essence will stay there tho, originally inspired by the song say something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:16:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlywearscardigans/pseuds/onlywearscardigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is free of the Nogitsune but he's far from the boy he once was. </p><p> </p><p>  <em>Inspired by Say Something - A Great Big World</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been months since the Nogitsune and Stiles could not get a good night’s sleep. He made it about two hours in before the nightmares started. 

They were always the same. He would “wake up” trapped inside his own mind again, kicking and screaming to be let out. The first few times he couldn’t bare it, he begged not to be left alone at night. His dad and Scott agreed to alternate spending the night with him to help calm him down after he woke up screaming 

It only took a few weeks of that for Stiles to start feeling like a burden. He was keeping his dad from overnight shifts and Scott from Kira. So Stiles lied. He told them the nightmares had stopped. 

Scott called him out immediately, “Stiles, I don’t mind. You’re my brother, I wanna make sure you feel safe.” 

They had just wrapped up a pack meeting in Derek’s loft. Aside from Derek they were the only two left. Stiles could hear Derek clinking around the five feet of counter, fridge, and stove top that they deemed the kitchen. “Scott,” He started, tears springing to his eyes despite himself, “I’m always afraid. It-it feels like a wound inside of me? I constantly feel vulnerable and violated and I don’t know how to be normal again.” He choked on a sob and covered his face with his hands irritated. He was just so tired of crying. 

\---

Stiles had come to terms with his feelings for Derek a while ago. It started as a simple physical attraction, though at the time it wasn’t so simple considering he thought he was straight. It was when the attraction grew into something more that Stiles started to panic. Why did he have to fall for the most unavailable people? 

The most frustrating thing about it was that Derek wasn’t unavailable in the way that Lydia was. She just could not reciprocate those kinds of feelings for him. Stiles could accept that. Stiles _had_ accepted that. But Derek could return those feelings. He _so_ could. The way Derek was constantly protecting him. The glances they shared when no one was paying attention. But god Derek was the most emotionally constipated person Stiles had ever met. 

So Stiles settled for being sort of allies with him because he didn’t know how to approach the guy without stepping on the many land mines of trust issues in front of him. 

But that was before…everything. 

Stiles didn’t even think he had the capacity to feel that way about someone again, let alone someone that couldn’t even make eye contact with him anymore. So when Derek walked through his bedroom door Stiles was a little more than surprised by the warmth the spread in his chest. The feeling faded quickly when Stiles felt the compulsion to count his fingers. 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Stiles asked from his position on his bed. He was in his plaid pajama bottoms and one of the plain black t-shirts Scott had left behind. It didn’t fit him very well but the lingering smell of his pack, his family, helped keep him calm after a nightmare. 

“I brought movies and curly fries.” Derek announced as if those weren’t the first words he’d spoken directly to Stiles since the Nogitsune. 

“Derek wh-” Stiles stammered watching the former alpha shrug off his leather jacket and toe off his shoes. “I’m not hungry.” 

“You have to eat.” Derek plopped down next to Stiles and reached into the greasy paper bag for the fries. “Your dad said you haven’t had dinner.” 

“When’d you talk to my dad?” Stiles asked, letting Derek place the fries in his hand. 

“He let me in.” 

Stiles nodded and mechanically popped a fry in his mouth. The taste was dull and he chewed like it was a chore. 

Derek sighed and took Stiles computer in his lap to pop in one of the movies. 

\---

Stiles woke up crying and shaking a few hours later. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. The hand pulled him into a strong chest and a voice whispered in his ear, “Stiles, it’s okay, you’re okay.” The hand ran up and down Stiles arm but his skin was still crawling from the dream. He struggled against the strong arm feeling panic rise in his chest. 

“Stiles look at me!” Derek turned Stiles around by the shoulders, “You need to take deep breaths okay?”

Stiles hung onto Derek’s arms that were rising and falling with his shoulders. Keeping his hands wrapped around Derek’s wrist Stiles tapped each finger to his thumb making sure there were only ten. 

“Stiles?” 

Stiles let go of Derek’s arms and groggily fell into his chest. He was still trying to catch his breath but at least he knew he was awake and Derek was real. He unabashedly pressed against Derek’s chest, oddly comforted by his unfamiliar smell and his solidity. 

Derek ran a tentative hand across his shoulder to grip his neck and held him in place. “I’ll make sure to pick better movies next time.” Derek whispered. 

Stiles picked his head up to stare at Derek with wide eyes and before he knew it he let out a weak chuckle, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you joke before.” He gave him another small smile before falling back against his chest. 

Stiles didn’t understand why Derek hugged him so tightly moments later but when he's finally drifting back into unconsciousness he realized that was the first time he’s laughed in months.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Stiles woke up to see dawn breaking through his window. He blinked in surprise, it was the latest he'd slept in months. He let his head fall back against his pillow before he snapped back up when he realized there was a weight around his waist, anchoring him to the bed.

He stared at the arm suddenly remembering everything from the night before. Carefully, he looked over his shoulder and found Derek fast asleep a few inches away from him. He wasn't close enough to touch but Stiles could still feel the heat radiating from him. Stiles turned to face the werewolf, letting every question he had pushed aside the night before flood his mind.

Why had he showed up? Why couldn't he speak to him before last night? Was this a one time thing?

Stiles really hoped it wasn't.

He watched as Derek woke up with one sharp inhale and a single blink of his eyes.

Stiles had to squeeze his eyes shut and tap each finger to his thigh when doubt and fear flooded him.

He was thankful when Derek didn't question or interrupt. He just squeezed Stiles waist, reassuring his presence.

When Stiles opened his eyes Derek was still there. And Stiles was okay. He was okay. He was okay. He was okay.

"You're okay, Stiles." Derek soothed moving his hand to Stiles back.

"I'm okay." Stiles exhaled.

"Your dad already left for his shift so I'm gonna go get some breakfast ready for you. Take a shower and get into some fresh clothes."

Stiles wanted to argue that he wasn't a child. But truth be told he had little to no appetite and he had been a bit of a hygienic wreck the last few weeks. So he just nodded and climbed out of bed. He reached into his closet and pulled out the first thing he touched without even looking.

"I'll be right down stairs okay?"

\---

It turned into a routine. Just as Stiles would climb under his sheets Derek would stroll through the door. Stiles didn't question it because he was afraid it would scare Derek off and he was actually starting to feel the tiniest bit stronger. But then they saw each other at another pack meeting and Derek acted like nothing had changed. Sure he offered Stiles an extra glance here and there but that was it. 

“Hey.” Stiles caught Derek’s attention after walking Scott to the door and assuring him that he was fine. 

Stiles wrung his hands together and opened his mouth to talk but Derek cut him off. “Wanna go for a run with me?” 

Stiles eyes narrowed, “What?” 

“I usually go jogging through the preserve after these things. Do you wanna come?” Derek asked, already grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge.

“Uhm, I’m not really dressed for running.” He fidgeted in his old khakis and t-shirt. 

“I’ve got stuff you can borrow.”

\---

They ran for about fifteen minutes before Stiles couldn't take it anymore. His right side was cramping, his legs were burning, and he kept having to hike up the sweat pants Derek and lent him. “I can’t! I need a break!” Stiles groaned and fell against the nearest tree.

Derek jogged forward a few more feet before stopping, “It’s okay. We’re here.”

“We’re here? What do you mean?” Stiles stumbled forward and realized what Derek was talking about when the Hale house came into view. 

Derek lowered himself to the ground so he was sitting cross legged in the fallen leaves. 

Stiles, not entirely sure what they were doing, followed suit. “Uh, Derek wha-”

“When my family died and Laura and I moved to New York, she tried so hard to make things feel normal. She searched for a pack, any pack, to let us in. She had just graduated a few weeks before so she tried going out and looking for a job too. I- I stopped talking. I started working out-”

“Grew facial hair.” Stiles supplied. 

Derek chuckled weakly but nodded, “It was my fault so I didn’t think I was allowed to move on.”

“Hey.” Stiles reached out and held onto Derek’s elbow, “It wasn't your fault.” 

Derek just pressed his lips together and continued, “When we came back here and Laura died and Scott was bit, I knew that things would never be normal again.”

Stiles, still clutching Derek’s elbow, absentmindedly tapped each finger against it and did the same with his other hand, against his knee. He let Derek’s words sink in, “I’m not gonna be okay am I?” 

Derek shook his head and turned so he was facing him, “You’re gonna be okay, Stiles.” He assured, gripping the hand on his elbow, “But things are never going to be the same. You aren’t going to be the same.”

Stiles nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“And it’s okay,” Derek continued, “It’s okay if you can’t crack the jokes anymore.”

All Stiles could do was nod and cry silently because Derek was right. Stiles had just been afraid to admit it because he could see how optimistic Scott got when he talked about Stiles getting better. Stiles knew that he was just waiting for him to make that sarcastic comment that meant ‘Stiles is back!’. 

After he managed to compose himself he remembered his original question, “Why’d you bring me all the way out here for this?” 

Derek shrugged and gracefully stood, “I figured you could use the exercise and I have to meet the construction crew anyway.” 

“Construction crew?” 

That’s when Stiles hear the distinct sound of heavy machinery making its way through the narrow roads of the preserve. “You’re gonna tear it down?” 

Derek shook his head, “Not all of it. The foundation is still strong so I figure we can just build on that.” 

\---

Later that night, Stiles is tucked in his bed feeling the best he’s felt in a long time. He and Derek decided to just forgo the movies and turn in early. They were in the same position as always, not close enough for their bodies to touch but close enough for Derek to throw his arm around Stiles waist. 

Stiles turned so he was facing Derek and studied his face. He wondered how long it had been since Derek had openly talked about his family like that. Stiles was almost positive that the answer was never but then again Derek can be a bit of an enigma when he wants to be. 

“Stiles?” Derek said groggily. 

“Does anyone else know that stuff about you and Laura , after the fire?”

Derek’s eyes blinked open instantly and he subtly shook his head, no. 

“Thanks for telling me.” 

Derek kept his gaze on the comforter but nodded. 

“But you know you don’t have to keep this,” Stiles motioned between the two of them, “between us. They should know. They should know what you’re sacrificing for me.” 

Derek’s eyes snapped to back to him, “I’m not sacrificing anything, Stiles. I want to be here.” 

Stiles nodded slowly and disbelievingly before letting his head fall back against the pillow. They stared at each other long enough for a silent agreement to pass between them. Derek shifted so his arm rested across Stiles pillow. Stiles shifted closer so he was tucked against Derek’s side. As he was drifting off Stiles thought that he might actually get through the night without a single nightmare. 

\---

When he woke up only a few hours later screaming he hated himself for hoping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next month or so Stiles figured out that he had good days and bad days. On his good days he was able to be out with his friends. Basic things, obviously like studying, movie nights at Scott’s, and pack meetings. If there was anything supernatural lurking about, they very pointedly avoided telling Stiles. 

Stiles knew, of course. Scott was never able to lie to him. Even his new found True Alpha-ness wasn’t able to change that. But Stiles was okay with being left out of all of…that. He knew that he was nowhere near ready to be messing around with that stuff. All and all, his good days were pretty decent. 

His bad days, however, were pretty _fucking_ bad. Those were the days that he was absolutely convinced he wasn’t awake. No amount of reassurance from Derek or the number of times he would count his fingers could change that. 

“There has to be something we can do.” Derek implored. He watched helplessly as Stiles thrashed uselessly against Scott and Kira’s grip. 

Deaton stepped up to stand at Stiles right side. “Stiles, I need you to look at me. I am here. This is real. You are awake. Do you think you could count your fingers for me?”

“Isn’t there something else-”

Deaton shushed Derek immediately and turned back to Stiles, who was slowly counting his fingers. 

“When he’s like this that only helps him for a little while. He’ll be panicking again in a few minutes.” Derek explained failing to keep the emotion from his voice. 

“Wait how do you know that?” Scott asked, loosening his grip on Stiles who was now leaning tiredly against Kira. 

Derek was thankful when Deaton stepped into the conversation, “I just need him calm enough to sedate him.” While he spoke he pulled an intimidating needle from one of his drawers. 

“Wait, what?” Stiles asked tiredly. 

“Stiles, you are exhausted. You need rest.” Deaton explained calmly. 

When Derek noticed the hesitant look on Stiles face he spoke up, “Isn’t there something else you can do?”

“ _This_ is what I can do, Mr. Hale.” Deaton said and Derek knew that the conversation was over. 

Derek met Stiles eyes across the room. He knew Stiles hated the artificial sleep. It made him feel heavy and the opposite of well rested. But it was the only way they knew how to help when Stiles was like this. Derek gave Stiles a single nod before turning and leaving the room. 

Just as the door was swinging closed Derek heard Stiles tired voice, “Okay, yeah. Go ahead.’

Less than five minutes later, Deaton, Kira, and Scott come through the door. 

“Dude, what was that?” Scott asked, motioning back to the room they just left. 

“What was what?” Derek dodged. 

“I think he’s talking about that telepathic conversation you and Stiles just had.” Kira added, mirroring Scott’s open mouthed expression. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You’re lying, Derek.” 

Derek continued to ignore them and moved on to Deaton, “There has to be something more permanent we can do to help him.” 

“Derek, the only thing that can help him is time, patience, and rest. Now I believe I have a patient waiting, excuse me.” 

“And I’m just gonna go keep Stiles company.” Kira said.

Derek watched her squeeze Scott’s hand before she disappeared behind the swinging door. He caught a glimpse of Stiles passed out on the uncomfortable medal table and he wanted nothing more bring him a pillow or blanket or anything to not have this conversation with Scott. 

“Derek.” 

He didn’t have to look up to know that his alpha’s eyes were red. Despite his best efforts he felt himself submit to Scott, “I’ve been helping him.” It’s quiet for about a minute and Derek is afraid to look up. 

“But it’s more than that, isn’t it?” Scott realized. 

“I-I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Scott pressed. 

Derek snapped, “I mean, I don’t know, Scott. He just…he sleeps better when I’m there.” 

Scott blinked, “You’re the reason he’s been getting better.” 

“Does this look better to you!” He cried, pointing to the swinging door. 

“Derek, he has more good days than bad.” 

“It doesn’t feel like it.” He admitted. Derek knew that Stiles bad days were far and few and they had gone so long since the last one. He, foolishly, thought he’d gotten Stiles through it. 

“You know he’s always had a thing for you?” Scott smiled fondly, remembering all the looks Stiles thought he hid so well. 

“Yeah, I know.” Derek answered, watching Kira rest her chin next to Stiles’ shoulder and stroke his limp hand with her thump. 

“I always hoped he would get over you.” 

Derek turned to look at Scott, brows furrowed. 

“I mean I totally don’t think that now! You guys are pack, I just want you two to be happy. But...I want both of you to get better.” 

“Both?” 

“Derek, you lost your family. Your pack. You act like you’re okay. Like you’re over it but I know you’re not. And I mean it’s not something that you’ll ever be over but I think that in time you will get better. With his help.”

“Scott, Stiles is the one you need to be focusing on.” 

“That right there is what worries me.” Scott said shaking his head, “You put everyone else before yourself and now you’ve tethered yourself to my best friend.”

“Scott-”Derek started.

“No! I’m right, okay? You do everything in your power to make sure you are the unhappiest person in the room! But what you don’t seem to get is that if you’re unhappy, he’s unhappy. So find ways to like relax and get happy, dude!” Scott exclaimed, hitting Derek in the chest. 

“Like what?” Derek asked, 

Scott shrugged, “Uh Kira and Allison just started going to a yoga class. They say it’s supposed to be like stress relieving and stuff.” 

Derek raised an eyebrow at him, not sure if he was joking or not, “Yoga?”

Scott shrugged, smiled, and gave him that look that always made Derek forget that this kid was his alpha, “You never know, dude."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyones okay with the break from the angst! i needed some scott/derek bro time


	4. Chapter 4

“So are we going jogging or what?” Stiles clapped his hands together and hopped restlessly from one foot to the other. It had been two months since his last ‘bad day’ and he could feel the energy pumping through his blood again. 

Derek strolled out of his bedroom with something tucked under his arm. “Nope.” 

“Uhm, I’m sorry what?” Stiles had to catch himself against the small kitchen counter when he faltered. He watched confused as Derek slipped a disc into his blu-ray player that Isaac had insisted he buy, along with the large LED tv. 

“We’re gonna try something else.” Stiles knit his eye brows together at the nervousness in Derek’s voice. 

Realization dawned on him when the Derek rolled the two mats in front of the tv and a petite woman with kind eyes blinked onto the screen. “Yoga?” Stiles asked in disbelief. 

“Yoga.” Derek confirmed. 

“Since when do you do yoga?” Stiles tilted his head watching Derek moving furniture around. When Derek paused and stared at him for a moment Stiles almost asked why but then he realized he was smiling. He looked away and bit his lip to keep himself from smiling wider. He had gotten used to the looks his friends gave him every time he did something ‘normal’. But the way Derek looked at him when he noticed, well, Stiles didn’t mind so much. 

Derek realized he was staring and quickly blinked and started moving. “I’ve been going to a class with Kira and Allison.” 

“Oh uhm that’s cool but, uh, I actually had a lot of energy I was really looking forward to burning it off on the trail.”

“You’ll get your work out.” Derek then turned around and lifted his t-shirt over his head, the muscles on his back rippling.

Stiles had to bite his lip to keep himself from making some inappropriate sound. Derek had gotten comfortable being shirtless with him weeks ago but Stiles was nowhere near used to it. Every single time it was like some knocked the air out of his chest. 

“Well, come on.” Derek waved him over and patted the mat next to him.

Stiles toed off his sneakers and self-consciously shrugged off his hoodie, “I’m not taking off my shirt.” 

Derek made the smallest sound of disappointment that Stiles thought he imagined it until he spotted the small smirk on Derek’s face. 

“Trust me there’s nothing special under here these days.” Stiles said doing his best to keep his tone light. But Stiles knew he did a terrible job when Derek gave those big sad eyes of his. 

Derek reached and lightly gripped Stiles bare ankle, “Just sit down with me.” 

\---

Half an hour later Stiles decides yoga is not his thing. Too much stillness, too much silence. 

After Stiles politely bowed out, Derek asked if he minded waiting for him to finish up. Stiles could tell that the whole relaxing thing was totally happening for Derek. He could see his shoulders lose their tension and his voice was all lazy like it was when Stiles woke him so he wouldn’t have to lay in the darkness and silence alone. “Nah dude, you go right ahead.” Stiles had plopped himself down on the couch Derek had pushed against the wall. 

Stiles noted that as the video went on, the moves progressively got more difficult but he still felt his jaw drop when Derek gracefully lifted his legs into the air then bent him over his head all while carefully balancing himself on his forearms. 

The woman in the video announced the name of the pose but it was something absolutely insane that Stiles was never going to try to repeat. Seconds later the only sound in the room was that of Derek’s controlled breathing because Stiles was totally not breathing. He was sitting there ogling all the muscles that were taught and straining. And he may or may not have been half expecting him to fall over. 

Stiles chuckled at the mental image and continued to watch as Derek gracefully moved out of the position and into the next. He wasn’t sure when it happened but somewhere during…whatever it was that they were doing, Stiles started to feel something close to normal again. He actually wanted to go out with his friends, he was back in school, and he was able to get his dick hard again. Thank _christ_.

The first few months he honestly could not have cared less, sex was the last thing on his mind. It was just something that he happened to notice. He even tried watching some porn, just to see and his dick didn’t even twitch. 

Then he started getting some sleep, real sleep. Yeah, the nightmares were still there but he knew that’s all they were now, just nightmares. And Derek was there for him, surrounding him, making him feel not just better but _human_. 

Eventually, he felt himself falling for Derek again. With that came very familiar fantasies and desires. Then, one night, before Derek showed up, Stiles decided to do something about it because fuck he was still a teenage boy and he still remembered very clearly what it felt like to come. He ended up pumping his soft dick for a good ten minutes before giving up.

So when realized his cock his half hard in his sweat pants he kind of wanted to do something about it a-s-a-p. 

\---

“Dude, that was like really impressive.” Stiles complimented, mouthing at the neck of his water bottle. 

“Thanks.” Derek said still slightly out of breath. He was wiping the sweat from his neck with his discarded t-shirt and Stiles was totally not watching. “Do you still wanna go running?”

“Nah, I’m not gonna make you run after that.” Stiles tossed the bottle in the corner of the couch so he would stop fiddling with it. 

“Stiles, I don’t mind.” Derek said earnestly. He moved closer to Stiles, not expecting him to stand up so their faces were only inches apart.

“I know you don’t, Derek. I know.” Stiles reached out his shaky fingers and brushed the soft skin inside of Derek’s wrist. 

Stiles watched completely fascinated when Derek’s mouth dropped open and his eyes fell to Stiles lips. Their breath was coming faster now and they were barely touching. Stiles could tell Derek was hesitating, so he wrapped his hand around his neck and touched their foreheads together. “Come on, Derek.” He breathed, eyes closed. His heart was racing but he didn’t want to stop.   
Derek let out an audible breath when Stiles tilts his head so their noses brush together and their lips are barely an inch apart. 

“Stiles.” Derek groaned. He reached out and grabbed the back of Stiles neck with both hands. 

Stiles was afraid he was going to push him away but all he seemed to do was hold on. Stiles must have taken it the wrong way because when he finally leaned in the last inch, Derek turned his head. His lips brushed against the stubble on his cheek for less than a second before Derek pulled him away. 

“Stiles, wait. Just wait.” 

Stiles snapped out his days and opened his eyes, “Oh god, I’m sorry. I thought-“

“No! No.” Derek shook his head and squeezed the back of Stiles neck. “It’s not that. I just..I-“ 

But Stiles was already shoving his arms threw the sleeves of his hoodie, “No, dude, it’s okay. I’m sorry...I just assumed.” He cursed when he tripped over himself trying to put on his shoes. 

“Stiles, wait-“

“I’ll go. I’m going. I’m sorry.” He didn’t look back before sliding the heavy door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait everyone but I have a tendency, around this time in a fic, to rush myself and the plot always suffers. So I tried this new thing called patience and just waited for inspiration and I hope it paid off.
> 
> Also uhm just thanks for reading everyone. It's been super...reassuring :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are lovely


	5. Chapter 5

“What the hell is wrong with you! You did exactly what I asked you not to do!” Scott stormed into Derek’s loft. He shoved the door behind him a bit too hard making everything in the apartment rattle. “Derek!”

Derek paused for a half a second in his pull ups to spare Scott a glance before going right back to his grueling work out. It had been a week since Derek had left his loft or heard from anyone in the pack, aside from Lydia, who’d been texting him updates on Stiles, whether he wanted them or not. 

“Answer me!” Scott screamed his eyes flashing red. 

It made Derek think of the days after Scott had been turned and he stormed up to Derek’s decrepit front porch growling about Allison. 

“Scott.” A new gentler voice entered the mix, cutting off Derek’s words. 

Derek watched Kira step into his loft, shaking her head at their Alpha. She touched his elbow gently while Scott pulled himself together with slow and deep breaths. “Maybe, I should do this?” she whispered.

He watched Scott throw him one last glare before storming out of the loft. 

“Sorry about that, he just cares a lot.” She smiled warmly at him but Derek ignored it. “Derek.” Kira implored.

He dropped to the ground and started doing push-ups.

Kira stared in disbelief but continued. “Fine. Stiles had a bad night, right after whatever happened between you guys, ya know…happened.” She finished awkwardly, tugging on the too long sleeves of her bright pink sweater. “But he recovered like super fast, so everyone’s really happy because he’s gotten so much better.”

Derek kept pushing himself, up and down, up and down, Lydia had explained all of this in the last text she sent him. It was quickly followed by one that read _Stop feeling sorry for yourself and come see your boyfriend._

Kira started shuffling awkwardly and wished that she had prepared a speech or something. She’d never really sat and spoke with Derek one on one before. How the hell was she supposed to talk this werewolf out of his endorphin infused funk? She almost changed her mind but she turned to face the door and pictured Scott standing outside listening, counting on her. So she clenched her fist, lifted her chin, and said, “Derek. You are going to stop exercising and go fix things with Stiles.” 

Derek paused and tilted his head towards her and smirked but otherwise ignored her and continued his work out. 

Kira’s jaw nearly hit the floor. Did he really…did he just…who did he think he was! She was the flippin’ kitsune! Wait, yeah! She was a kitsune. Kira didn’t let herself think twice before she shot electricity under Derek hands, making him flinch and slam into the floor, hard. “You deserved that.” She said when Derek scowled up at her from the floor. 

He huffed before pushing himself off the floor and onto his knees. When he finally spoke he said, “He isn’t going to want to see me.” 

“I don’t think that’s true.” 

Derek scoffed and finally turned to stare at her, “How would you know?” 

Kira shook her head and stepped closer, “He cares about you too much to turn you away.” He didn’t respond but the look on his face lets Kira know he still doesn’t believe her. “Derek, he wouldn’t be so upset if he didn’t care.”  
\--  
Derek found himself standing on the Stilinski’s porch at sunset. He’d been standing there for ten minutes and still couldn’t bring himself to knock on the front door.  
Not thirty seconds later the Sheriff saves him from anymore agony.

“Okay I can’t take this anymore please come inside, three of my neighbors have called me already.” The older man shut the door behind him. “He’s in his room.” The if you hurt my son went unsaid but somehow Derek heard the message loud and clear. 

Stiles’ door is cracked open, Derek could hear the rapid clicking of his keyboard. Derek imagined him sitting at his desk, his back to the door-

“You know I really thought you were over this creeper phase.” Stiles voice carried out into the hall. When Derek didn’t immediately go inside Stiles called out again, “Come in, Derek and shut the door.”

Derek blinked in surprise at the unexpected bluntness and hostility in Stiles tone but did as he was told. Stiles was sitting in the middle of his bed, his laptop resting on his thighs. The door clicked behind Derek and Stiles didn’t bother looking up from his computer screen. 

After a long awkward pause Stiles slams his laptop shut, “You really have nothing to say?” He carefully settled his elbows on his knees trying to appear casual but the rigidness of his back betrayed him.

“I’m sorry.” He said simply, on the edge of uninterested. 

Stiles turned to look at him then, the dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced, and his skin was a little paler than usual. This is how he always looked when he was recovering. “Really, that’s all you are going to say?” That made Derek physically falter, he tried to cover up the twitch but Stiles caught the movement. “I mean thanks but what the hell? I thought-I thought-” He trailed off. 

Derek could hear Stiles heart pounding, could see the nervous twitch of his finger.

“I am okay now, Derek. I know, I know, last night doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence but that was different and you know it.” He had clenched his fists to keep them from shaking but there was nothing he could do for his voice.

Derek shook his head slowly, staring at his shoes, “That’s-that’s not why, Stiles.” 

“So Scott was right?” Stiles stood slowly, moving so there was only a few feet between the two of them.

Derek couldn’t speak. What was left to say? Scott was right, one way or another Stiles would just end up hurt.

“Derek, I love you.” The words didn’t sound how Stiles imagined they would the first time he said it. He wasn’t laughing, or full of disgusting gooey joy, or cloudy with pleasure. It was, quite simply, a plea because in that moment he could feel Derek slipping through his fingers. 

Derek shook his head and tried to turn away. 

Stiles hand shot out and gripped his elbow, fingers digging in to make up for his lack of strength. He stepped into Derek’s space and held the man there when he tried to step away, “Derek, I fucking love you okay?” His tone was hysterical now and tears were in his eyes. 

“Stiles, you don’t love me.”

Stiles barked a humorless laugh, “You idiot, yes I do. I am follow you to the ends of the fucking galaxy in love with you. You just don’t want to see it cause’ that’d be easier, right? But you love me too. I know you do but you can’t ever accept that, which, considering your past is understandable, so you don’t let anyone near you by making them think that you are saving them from pain when really you're just trying to spare yourself, right?" Stiles raised an eyebrow and Derek's wide stare was enough confirmation. "I got too close, so now you’re pushing me away, which honestly, surprised me a little because I thought you and I were passed that.” Stiles wiped the tears off his face and took a deep breath to compose himself. He placed his hands on his hips and looked at Derek, “I love you, Derek but I can’t have another night like last night. So if you want me, you need to say something, right now.” 

Derek froze. He wanted to tell Stiles that he was right. He knew Stiles was different. He knew he wasn't another Kate or Jennifer. He was in love with this person but the words seemed to die at the back of his throat. He froze. 

“Please say something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait. I sorta lost my inspiration a few weeks after the season finale (rightaroundthetimeWinterSoilderpremieredmaybewhoknows) but the show is coming back soon so it's all over my tumblr again and I an feel the sterek flame being reignited in the fandom. as always feedback is welcome and appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always appreciated :)


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